Remembering the MANDATED in "mandated reporting": if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

Not sure if you've been reading American news lately.  Within the last six weeks, and even more recently within the last two weeks, two American University athletic coaches are facing allegations of sexual misconduct with young boys. As the mother of boys, I find it deeply disturbing and am very concerned that the system in which these men or MOLESTERS functioned never questioned their actions. 

I'll be honest with you, it scares the hell out of me. As a parent, what am I supposed to do...keep my kids in the house and live in recluse for fear of the evil adults? I don't think so.  

But the thing that is MOST disturbing is that perverts like these have colleagues. Collegues, who, more than likely, suspected something inappropriate or strange was happening BUT SAID NOTHING.

FIrst let me say that I recognize how hard it is to confront a coworker. I've done it before and TRUST me, its very awkward. The important thing to remember is how that child may feel. You have to speak up and say something. If your principal or other administrators don't do anything about it (which you may or may not know because leaders can't advertise the discipline they provide to someone else) then you should take it higher.

We are mandated reporters as educators. More than anything else, we have a moral imperative to protect students.

Here are some tips to help you identify or address potentially harmful behavior to a child:


1. If you see a colleague constantly alone with children, gently remind them that someone else should be in the room or they should leave their office/classroom door open.

2. If a child tells you anything suspicious about a colleague, it is your duty to investigate. By investigate, I mean asking your coworker about it. If it still feels funny, tell admin. If what the child tells you is enough to be very suspicious but not blatantly a violation, go straight to admin.

3. Ask other students what its like to be in Mr. or Mrs. "X"'s class.

I, for a lack of better words, interrogate students daily. I have a way of approaching the subject in a way that doesn't make it seem like I'm getting too personal too soon.

My conversations usually go like this:

Me: So I see you live on "X" street, is that a house, apartment, what?

Kid: Apartment

Me: Oh okay, do you have brothers and sisters?

Kid: Yeah, two brothers, three sisters.

Me: Wow, who's the oldest.

Kid: Me

Me: Wow, sounds like a lot of responsibility, who else lives with you and your brothers and sisters?

Kid: Stepdad

Me: Do you get along?

Kid: Sometimes

Me: Why does he tell you what chores to do and all of that kind of stuff?

Kid: Yeah, he's just weird.

Me: By weird you mean what?

Kid: Well, sometimes he says things that make me feel weird.

Me: Like what?

Kid: Nevermind

Me: You can tell me anything, anything at all.  Just know if you tell me someone is hurting you, I have to tell someone else.  I have a legal and moral responsibility to protect you.  Knowing that, feel free to tell me anything else.



And the child either chooses to tell me, or tell another adult. If they are uncomfortable speaking with me, I always refer them to someone else. ALWAYS.


Does that seem so hard?  Have you ever witnessed a coworker doing anything that made you feel uncomfortable at work with children?  If so, how did you respond?