Ever been thrown under the bus? I have and, OUCH, it hurts. Many teachers and all administrators work in some form of a School Learning Community (SLC), Professional Learning Community (PLC) or interdisciplinary team. Ask yourself one question: have I ever done anything to undermine the professional reputation of ANY of my colleagues?
First let me define what I think qualifies as "throwing someone under the bus."
You are a thrower if you have ever done any of the following:
1. Purposely reveal the flaws of another when your boss or higher up is discussing a concern they have about your performance. Example: "John, I want to discuss your lack of punctuality." John says "Oh, I didn't think it was an issue because my supervisor said it was okay to come in late... Rick and I come in about 15 minutes late each day."
2. If you've ever taken sides on an issue based on GOSSIP. By giving the sheer appearance of approval (not saying anything, head nodding, or eyebrow raising with bewilderment). If you do this to a teammate while listening to gossip without aligning your loyalties with the person you work most directly with... you're a thrower. I'm not saying agree with anything unethical but don't say "you'll look into it." That implies that you have some sort of supervisory power over your equal. You don't, back off. Let the people vent and try to say something like "I'm sure there is more to this than we know." There usually is...
Look of bewilderment=agreeing with you
3. If you fingerpoint. When you cast blame so easily on others and let it be known publicly, especially to subordinates if you are in management, you are a thrower. Revealing that there is division in the management undermines your authority. Believe me, it does. How can you ever speak of teamwork as a manager when you openly criticize or highlight the mistakes of another? Saying things like "I'm sure Kyla will do it...when she gets around to it." WOW! You're a jerk.
I'm processing what it means to be known by all and hated by most. Not because you've done something to offend someone, but because of your role. * sigh * I asked for this. I love my work. The kids are the easy part. But there are a couple of principles I will NEVER, EVER compromise, no matter how much heat I'm feeling from others.
I practice loyalty, deference, and the art of being humble. I've learned these lessons the hard way. I believe I learned these principles the hard way because it was time for a major paradigm shift in my life.
Loyalty: In my last position, I freely shared my opinion with others. That was a bad idea. I learned the hard way. Now, as long as there are no ethical conflicts, I back my teammates up. If I saw ANYONE on my campus do something I deemed questionable, I'd ask them to explain. When people create stories around what the THINK is the truth... you risk loyalty. How do you expect a person to go to bat for you when you've said some not so nice things about them?
Deference: Everyone, no matter what their role is on my campus, no matter how long they've been there, has something to teach me. The personal philosophies I hold dear in life are a result of the interactions I've had with people over time who have left me with something profound. I'm a new administrator, everyone who's been there has something to teach me. The custodians, the clerks, the teachers, anyone. Deference, showing respect to those who are wiser, older, more experienced. The MINUTE you think you know more because you are of a certain title, you've lost the connection with others before you've even started.
Being Humble:
I try very hard to not take the fact that someone has entrusted me, my professional discretion and my judgement for granted. I am very fortunate to have landed my position. Because of that, things that once bothered me no longer bother me. People can gossip, lie, throw me under the bus... it doesn't matter. You know why? Because last year I was without a job. My family was undergoing a MAJOR life change. My husband's career was in transition and I was a student in graduate school, for the second time, PRAYING I landed a job by the time my husband's medical retirement came through from the Marine Corps. Every held on firmly to every dollar. For the first time in my life, I thought I would have to seek government assistance just to be able to afford food for our two kids. I'm revealing a lot. I say that to say, I'm grateful for my position. In the past 18 months I've matured A LOT. I needed that struggle to make me realize that I am not entitled to ANYTHING. You don't warrant respect, you earn it. I practice the golden rule.
I wish everyone did.
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